Why change your words?
I’m glad you asked! If you are keen to attract all the best things in life, the very first place to start is with your words. Words are the most incredible containers for power. Wars have been started, marriages ended, and great hurt caused by a choice of words. But it’s not all bad, people can be lifted up and inspired by encouraging words. Have you ever thought about how to change your words if they are not serving you?
The effect of your words on yourself
Have you ever considered the way you talk to yourself? If you make a mistake do you say ‘you idiot – you are always messing up’ or something equally demeaning? What we don’t always realize, is that what comes out of out own mouths we believe more than what anyone else tells us so in this case we are likely to continue messing up!
What else are you saying to yourself that is disempowering? How about ‘I never have enough money’, ‘I always get a cold in the winter time’, ‘I’m so tired’ and on and on. We are simply bringing about more of the same! My work buddies are absolutely brutal with their self-talk – worse still, they say it out loud! (I would love to share but it might offend..) They always have a bit of a chuckle when they hear me say ‘Jean, you are a well-meaning cookie’ when I make a momentous error!
Whatever comes out of your mouth, you are literally prophesying for your own life. If this was understood, there would be zero negative self-talk!
A more positive use of words
It’s important to mention at this point where your words come from! Your words come from a thought which can be turned around before it becomes your words, the critical thing is self awareness. When you notice a negative thought coming into your mind, take a moment to find a ‘better feeling thought’.as recommended in the book Ask and it is Given by Abraham Hicks.
So let’s say you start out thinking ‘I would rather go back to bed than go to work’, you could change it for ‘I am waking up a bit slowly this morning. I’ll have a lovely cup of coffee and some breakfast to set me up for the day’! And instead of saying ‘I won’t have enough money to get me to the end of the month’ something along the lines of ‘things are always working out for me, I am excited about ….’ (fill in your own ending!). The crucial part is not to dwell on the lack of alertness, money or whatever it is you feel you are lacking as it is a cast iron guarantee that you will get more lack in that area. Change your focus to something positive and you will remove that energy creating lack.
When someone asks how you are, try saying ‘fabulous!’ or ‘tip-top!’ – and mean it! Particularly if you are not ill, you have a roof over your head and lots to be thankful for – there is no reason, other than dwelling on negative thoughts, for you not to be sincere when you say these words. In any case, it’s actually worth it just to see the look on people’s faces! We are so used to people responding with ‘fine’ or the one that really gets me ‘not too bad’ which effectively mean bad, but could be worse! Or another common one ‘shattered’. Need I say more?
Is it any wonder there is so much apathy in the word when these are the sorts of words we are using?
Your responsibility towards others
Your words can have a devastating and lasting impact on others. Kids who have been bullied will be able to tell you that the things that were said about them had a very long lasting impact on their lives.
Parents can be guilty also be guilty of negatively affecting their children’s future chances in life. In his book ‘Reinventing Yourself’ by Steve Chandler describes a situation where a girl was doing very well in all subjects except Math. What do you suppose her parents focused on? Your’ve guessed it, the Math. Instead of going on about all of her successes and saying something along the lines of ‘the Math will come, but she’s excelling in all other areas, we are so proud’, the girl starts to obsess with Math and feel like an utter failure which goes on to impact every area of her life.
A friend of mine (okay, I’ll own up, it was me) had a boyfriend who asked this rather flat chested, 16 year old girl ‘How do you know when you’ve got your bra on back to front!’. I just laughed and said he should wear a bra (he was a bit on the fat side and definitely had a touch of the man boobs) but I could have developed big body confidence issues.
An opportunity to positively impact lives
I recently read that Henry Ford was having doubts during the time he was inventing the gasoline powered motor vehicle, but an encouraging word from Thomas Edison made him decide to press on with it!
Dawn French’s Dad told her when she was a child that she was ‘uncommonly beautiful’ which would be a great start in life for any young girl.
Who can you encourage today? A colleague who works away quietly and is never recognized? A chid who maybe isn’t top of the class but is doing their absolute best?
Do you know someone who is stepping out on a business venture or doing something else that takes courage? It’s incredible, particularly with close family members, that encouragement can be lacking at these times. I’m sure sometimes it is out of genuine concern that they are making a mistake and might fail – but everyone needs to make their own way in this world and you often need to step out to find out or stay in a situation you are not happy with forever.
The other reason that family and friends are often unsupportive is that they want to keep you where you are. Often your new lease of life and action taking is threatening to those who would love to follow their dreams but haven’t found the courage to do it. If you are that sceptical family member, try showing a bit of support and if you are the person who is the target of the sceptic, use it as ammunition to fuel your fire to succeed!
I love the above quote from Mother Teresa and often think that whenever and wherever we meet someone, we have no idea what is going on in their lives and a bit of kindness could be just what they need. So even if people are a bit strange or off with you, you have no idea what they are going through and it is an opportunity for you to be kind for no other reason than that you can.