Why you are not getting what you want and what to do about it!
Have you ever had an amazing, life changing idea, got really excited thinking about what life could be like, but then came up with a load of excuses? Something along the lines of ‘I just don’t have the time to start a business on the side’, ‘I will start writing my book just as soon as the schools go back after the holidays’ or ‘I will make an effort and go to the gym, I’m just too tired at the moment’? If you are human, and have a desire to live your best life the chances are that you have!
Does this make you a bad person or are you maybe just lazy? Not at all. The good new is that this sort of behavior is absolutely normal. The bad new is that your subconscious mind will go to great lengths to stop you from trying anything new or uncomfortable! This even includes any attempt to break out of an undesirable situation. Your brain views any kind of change as dangerous and it makes a mighty foe!
So, you can forgive yourself for failed attempts to try something new – it is just the way you are wired! However, now that you are aware of what you are up against, you have the chance to fight back!
How to get what you want from life? Start with these 5 steps –
1. Keep your goals in sight
First of all, most people do not have a clear goal of what the want to achieve. They may have a big dream, but they are not breaking it down into the steps needed to make it happen. When there are no steps, it seems insurmountable and no steps are taken in the direction of the goal. If you have at least got your goal written down, well done! You are ahead of 97% of the population!
Once you break your goal down into the things that need to be done in the month, week and day, it lightens the load and you can take pleasure in ticking off the tasks that you have completed.
Review your goals every morning – I was guilty of not doing this (for much of my 10 years in a home business). Consequently, I literally lost sight of my goals and plodded on doing the daily essentials making no progress. I was totally unaware why this was happening and a bit annoyed at new people in the business overtaking me!
If you are already a master of goal-setting, you still unlikely to get where you want to go unless you have the next 4 aspects down.
2. You need vision
As Richard Bliss Brooke says in his wonderful book, Mach II with Your Hair on Fire, (check it out here) most people have been asleep at the wheel their whole adult life. You are clearly not one of them as you are reading this blog! Take a moment and close your eyes and imagine that your biggest goal is a reality, you are surrounded by friends and family congratulating you and you feel amazing. What can you see, hear, smell and touch? Connect with those feelings. Now, be honest, did you get a really good picture – like being at the cinema in color with 3D and surround sound? Most likely not – when you start out with visualization it can be difficult to get it as big and clear as you would like, but with practice you can absolutely nail this. If you take the time to spend 5 or 10 minutes daily to do this, you will naturally be drawn to do the actions to take it a reality.
3. You must believe!
Most people say ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ but the critical thing, if you want to achieve you goals, is that you absolutely must believe it BEFORE you see it! You cannot manifest anything without absolute conviction that it is one its way. But how do you do that when you have no evidence to support it? Yes, you can see that other people have been successful and that may help, but it isn’t enough to give you the transformational power needed to make it a reality for you. Affirmations are one of the most powerful ways to give a message to your subconscious mind. One of the best books for a self-belief boost and for writing effective affirmations is The Miracle Equation by Hal Elrod. Also, hypnosis sessions online (Joseph Clough as a really good one you can find on YouTube on Self Belief).
4. Be ready to change your plan
So, no one goes into a venture planning to fail, but if things don’t go right, don’t look at it like it is the end of the world. It may be that your strategy to get where you want to go isn’t working or the business you thought was perfect for you turned out not be. It’s great to have a ‘never quit’ attitude but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take change course to achieve your goal.
With hind-sight, I spent too much time in my previous business – my mind was so closed to other options. I didn’t change course quickly enough when it became clear that it was not the vehicle to get me where I wanted to go.
5. You need discipline!
Self-discipline is like a muscle that has to be exercised. At first there is a good chance that your discipline muscle will be weak! You will need to decide to stay focused on your end goals. Getting a daily routine together that includes the time you need to do your tasks is a great place to start. We are wired to crave routine and structure – once it becomes habit it will just become what you do. If you have committed to something and decide not to do it one day, don’t think it’s not important in the moment – the message you will be sending to yourself if that you are unreliable and lack discipline so you are likely to produce more of the same.
If you are not making it happen it will be down to that that inner voice saying ‘don’t make me go there – let’s stay where we are comfortable’! Don’t listen or you will be in danger of giving up on your dreams.
There is a wonderful quote by an ex-Navy SEAL and author, Jocko Willink, who says ‘(Self-discipline) will take care of you like nothing else can….it’ll put you on that path to strength, health, intelligence and happiness. And most importantly, it’ll put you on that path to freedom’. What a wonderful quote to end on.