What’s wrong with being single?
More people are living alone now than at any time in history. Some by choice, but many would also love to have that special someone to come home to, or even just to touch base with and share the day’s events. Someone who cares that you got home safely! There have certainly been times in my life that if my flight had not landed, no one would know and no one would miss me until I didn’t show up at work the next day! (Although the cat might have been a bit cheesed off!) Watching everyone else at the airport come back to hugs and lifts home did get to me sometimes during my single years. So what of the law of attraction and love in this seemingly impossible task?
Why is love so hard to find?
That is such an interesting question. Have you ever looked at people like Jennifer Anniston and thought ‘if she can’t find lasting love what hope is there for the rest of us’?
I have a friend who is just beautiful – she has perfect skin, hair and eyes. She is curvy, sexy, fun, intelligent and dresses beautifully. However, she had A LOT of single years when she was desperate to be with someone – and that was the problem. She was focusing on what she didn’t have. After a date she would immediately text the guy and thank him for a lovely time. Then send him another text and maybe another for good measure. Instead of being delighted that a gorgeous woman was interested in them, they backed off and there was never a second date. It wasn’t until she gave up and decided to enjoy life on her own that her ideal man showed up!
How can you turn it around?
One of the key points elements to the Law of Attraction is that you have to visualize whatever you desire in great detail and summon the emotions you will have when you have what you want.
Many years before I had ever heard of the LoA, I read about how Darren Hardy (author of The Compound Effect) had met his wife. He had made the decision that he wanted to get married and set about writing down every aspect of what he was looking for in a wife. He wrote 40 pages (front and back!) describing her attributes from her personality to the what sort of family she came from and from her make up to even the texture of her hair! Darren even took it a step further and wrote all about how their life together would be. He has been married now to his lovely wife Georgia (who was all he had asked for in ‘eerie detail’) for more than 20 years.
Now, Darren did not just sit back and wait for Georgia to walk into his life – he felt so inspired by the wonderful person he had created on paper that he asked himself who he would need to become to attract such a woman and acted as if he was that person. Take some time to write down, in detail, exactly the sort of person you are looking for. How they look in detail, if it is important to you that you share the same interests, put that down, if you are happy for them to have their own interests, put it down, what are his values, what sort of things will you do together – leave nothing out. Think about the sort of person you would have to become to attract such a wonderful person then act as if you were that person.
The most important relationship you will ever have, and I know it’s a cliche but it is so true, is the one you have with yourself. The quality of every relationship you have stems from this so if you don’t much care for yourself, that has to change or you will simply attract other people who don’t much care for you. You need to learn to love yourself. By that I don’t mean that you have a big ego and think you are better than anyone else however, if you can accept that you are equal to everyone but better than no one, that is a good place to start.
Also, instead of looking in the mirror and saying ‘look at those wrinkles and gray hair!’ have some fun and say ‘hi gorgeous!’. Follow up with something along the lines of ‘this is going to be a great day – things are always working out for me’ and notice how much better that feels. Be kind to yourself and make sure to spend time doing things you enjoy. Ask yourself, what is more attractive – someone obsessing about how they look or someone who makes the most of what they have got then gets on with enjoying life?
A different kind of love
When we talk about love, we always tend to think of romantic love, however, love exists in a much wider sense and when you have love in your heart for all things, it brings joy to your life whether you are single or not. How do you do that? Just keep you eyes open for the simple things that surround you every day. Appreciation is everything.
For example, the birds in my garden are just so beautiful and perfect, I just watch them in awe. Also, my sisters little dog – it’s incredible how we can have such wonderful communication with other species, and one of my all time favorite things – a blue sky! Living in Scotland, I don’t see that too much but I could almost burst with excitement when I see it (maybe I need to move!). Look for opportunities to spread love by helping someone – it could be something a simple as spotting a less able person in the supermarket needing a hand with getting their shopping in the car. In fact, doing anything that helps others always makes you feel great.
By feeling love, albeit a different sort of love, you are a vibrational match to love and more love will naturally come your way.
Keep an open mind
So, you have your list of how your perfect mate is going to look and be, but bear in mind that perfection does not exist so don’t be so focused on your imagined match that you miss someone who is there is real life and would make a wonderful partner – they may have many of your desired attributes but unless you give them a chance you will never know. Open your heart and give people a chance. I never did that for most of my single life – I always had my guard up having been hurt in the past. Then I met a man who was much younger than me. I didn’t hesitate to go out with him – I thought it couldn’t go anywhere because of the age difference, but here we are 10 years married! (See above on our anniversary holiday in Portu.al.)
The Manifestation Miracle course could give you the knowledge you need to get things going in the right direction! Check it out here.